Moving Day

The date on this, from a book that is optimistically labeled "Journal" is 7/5/02. Talk about pulling something out of a drawer.

I have a policy to always offer help to a friend when he's moving. If you do it often enough its easy work, you can help and tell stories simultaneously, and its appreciated because its a job you just can't effectively do alone. Also, it always comes back around. Its the closest thing to a barn raising we have in modern suburban America.

Everything about the move today was classic Steve. He didn't call me himself, he rarely has ever called me. Instead he had Tom make the calls, figuring he had more clout. Steve is a classic collector of junk. He collects with a zeal no married man could ever match. He's like many teachers in that he revels in taking anything that's free and rarely throwing anything away. Unlike most teachers, however, he is shameless and persistant in asking for donations on behalf of his many entrepreneurships. As a result, his ohouse and garage were filled with flotsam of his failed endeavors. A two foot high plile of heat reflecting tile for passive solar, 20 pair of women's mucluks in various sizes, a large pile of freee pamphlets inclding no less than 40 on duck identificatio nand 50 on recycling in Dakota County.

His decor and housekeeping would not be called classy by anyone, ut at the same time, it would be hard to disagree that it's interesting. Since he's traveled widely, his walls are covered with pictures of places most people only dream of visiting. A series of a sea turtle being released from a net. A picture of Steve next to a Javan rhino in indonasia. A picture of hazardous waste containers being pulled out of a pubic wetland. A large, authentic african mask. The entire series of Topps National League cards from 1972, uncut and framed.

Peppering these interesting and sometimes museum quality relics are some momuments to taciness. These, when found, always elicited commentary form his sympathetic, but wise ass friends.

A large wicker basket filled with deer antlers: "I saw this on Marth Stewart, its the hot thing this year."

A huge and unweildy, half filled, black canvas bag: "One of his ex-wives, taxidermy was getting expensive"

A large synthetic zebra stripe throw rug: "This can't possibly be REAL?"

There were bottles of screws, piles of lumber, panes of glass and a stack of cinder blocks. "Hey, Steve, instead of buying a new house, why don't we build a new one from all this extra stuff?"

You have to endure this sort of thing when you ask for help, but Steve doesn't deserve it.